to put it simply, i hate myself. why didnt i just happen to check my handphone a little before 6? after i shifted from my parents' rm to mine at about 5.30am, i was all along laying on the bed, trying hard to fall aslp, but somehow i just couldnt.(its just one of the things i have difficulty doing, everyday) then at 6.04 i jus reached for my phone, keeping in mind that i'd reset the alarm to 7 but once i saw that msg and miss call sign, i redialled straightaway but as i half expect it, the operator was on the line. for a moment, i felt numb. i missed. by a mere 4 minutes.
tho i talked to him last nite, for a shortwhile tho, that was like my last chance to hear his voice, before he goes out to field camp for 6 miserable days. how i wish i had the intuition to look at my phone 4 or 5 minutes earlier. its really a big deal to me. i wont hear from him for another 5 days and i cant help feeling so empty.

:'(