helo bloggy. been long since i wrote in.

niwae, tdae, it was such a lovely day. despite things not going on so well for me recently (but seriously, i dun giv a damn oredi, wadever happens, happens), tdae really cheered me up a whole lot. thankiew to my classmates who voted for me for that category. so sweet ah. i didnt think id win but the whole thing was just so cute and unexpected. n tdae is the last day we'll be tgt in teh same class. =( so sedih. cos tmr onwards dah lain class cos its different subject modules oredy. a totally new one. but takperla, 2 weeks je and then we happy happy party! lalalalalalalalalalalala~ but before that, 1000 words essay first :

buhbye

im totally worn out and my eye is like so gatal and booboo is gone into the jungle for 3 days.

BORING

actually ive got nothing in particular to write. first day of module and i was 20 mins late, but i do hav a valid reason though. my mences cramp was realli killing me and i had trouble walking, sitting, standing. it was that bad. and the usual 5 minute walk from mrt to one north became 10 mins and yeaaa, not a very gd first impression i presume.

niwae im damn tired, both physically and mentally and i cant bliv i forgot about talking to booboo later. k tata

bloggy, why isit such a heart rending experience to send booboo off? everytime.
this is like the 3rd time i guess, but i don't see myself getting used to this cycle.

niwae, i met booboo about 10 mins lateat white sands and its so nice to see him smile when he sees me although he doesnt have the nicest teeth in the world haha. but even so, i tink they're cute. its nice wen he notices wad i wear, which exact jeans, or if i put on eyeliner or mascara even, he notices the effort.

ok then at burger king, i didnt eat anything cos of my cramps but i stole some fries heh. then wen i opened my wallet, he saw a cinema ticket then asked me who i went to cinema with. then i acted suspicious and said i dunwana tell him.(niwae, it was a g-force cute hamster movie which i went to watch khadijah haha)
then he kept asking casually whom i went to watch the movie with. then i jus blurt out a guys' name, my fren whom he noes. then he noe i was joking and said ''yela yelah.. ngan sape?'' but i kept a serious front and continued saying i went with that guy but he was just half-buying it. somehow he knows im lying that i said 'there, even wen ive told u i went with him only, u wudnt bliv me' then he went sumting like ''haiya i noe la bla bla'' indicating that he malas wana layan my drama mama oredy.
Ahhhhh boring! i wana create suspense oso FAIL. am i that bad an actress? so yah in the end i jus revealed that i went with khadijah.

then yeah, i cant rmb wad we talked about cos i was just anxious at how time flies so fast that it was oredy 5.45 and we had to make a move.

so yeah, booboo understood my uneasiness in being around hundreds of army guys so he brought me to stand at the side. then we were 'arguing'(haha its nt an argument, more like a petty conversation) about giving him a quick hug. i simply put it that if i'm the one who hugs, n not him making the move, its ok. (i wont see him for 5 days, i really wanted hug him :() then he said the bfs shud oredy warn the gf of the rules. then i said 'pretend u nvr warn me?' n he went ''takbleh lah yang... hehe'' now i miss his giggles too. haiz. so yeah i just got to pat his arms for a brief 2 or 3 seconds and he disappeared into the crowd.

so sad right my story?

:(

(n just now suddenly i saw my dad move bside me. i duno if he's been standing there for long without me realising it or if he's there for 5 seconds. hope he didnt get to read, mati aku)

ok tata.

ydae i got to meet mr botakhead! hahaha even though i waited for him at that pokok for half an hour and i was greeted by a guy who hasnt bathed for 6 days, im still happy to c him. haha and wah, with regards to the number of days he hasnt mandi-ed, he sure got a mud-like odour haha but wadeva la

niwae, we cabbed all the way to woodlands cos he wanted to go home and bath first before going out for dinner with me. and i was ok with that idea bt nt until i realised i had to accompany him home and go inside his house and see his parents. i noe it isnt the first time or aniting bt its like 9pm at night and im like at ur doorstep with ur son, hello. not nice rite?

niwae, i was cringing in the lift going up to his floor but he said ''takde paperlah'' but of course he was right. wen we're outside, his mom saw him n me, his mum was so accommodating and asked to come in. so malu u noe!

n it went well i guess, his dad tried to do a lame joke but his mom didnt geddit and i was there giggling cos the joke was like left hanging. haha now i know where khalis gets that trait from. so yeah, it was easy to feel comfortable around his mom cos she nvr lets u feel like ure disturbing her or aniting. and she has a sense of humor as well, so it was quite a relaxed conversation then she gave me a whole huge family photo album for me to browse and explained the different people in the photos and then i was so paiseh wen i tak prasan n mistook his sibling for a grandmother haha oppps!

so ok overall his mom was sweet and nice hehe.

oklah tu je. boiboi.

i noe im a fucking stupid daughter, that i cudnt go uni. u didnt have to re-emphasise the fact that wad i did was worthless. im worthless rite. regret having me now? i was just an accident child niwae. bye

people might consider me crazy for sms-ing him knowing i wont get a reply haha. mcm waste sms jugak eh haha but i cant help it lah.



i miss u and ur hair, tho it isnt as nice as mine HAHA

to put it simply, i hate myself. why didnt i just happen to check my handphone a little before 6? after i shifted from my parents' rm to mine at about 5.30am, i was all along laying on the bed, trying hard to fall aslp, but somehow i just couldnt.(its just one of the things i have difficulty doing, everyday) then at 6.04 i jus reached for my phone, keeping in mind that i'd reset the alarm to 7 but once i saw that msg and miss call sign, i redialled straightaway but as i half expect it, the operator was on the line. for a moment, i felt numb. i missed. by a mere 4 minutes.
tho i talked to him last nite, for a shortwhile tho, that was like my last chance to hear his voice, before he goes out to field camp for 6 miserable days. how i wish i had the intuition to look at my phone 4 or 5 minutes earlier. its really a big deal to me. i wont hear from him for another 5 days and i cant help feeling so empty.

:'(